How to start a conversation?

This is my burden question. When I stand in front of someone, all I could think of was

"Hi, my name is .... Nice to meet you"
"What are you doing/studying?"
"Oh, what year are you in?"
"Oh, what's the business is about, I'm not sure."

And I run out of idea. I never know for sure what should I say next. Generally I don't want to get too much into their personal lives. But then... how?

And I listened to the first podcast of The Public Speaker on How to start a conversation.

Of course Lisa did not say specifically what I should say. But I learned that, amongst the 3 basic rules Lisa mentioned, I lack them all... Ouch!

1. I don't have what she calls a "Zen-Like attitude towards conversation making". (My mother in-law, however, is so great at it.) I am always very self-conscious and have quite a lot of judgmental thinking.

2. I don't pay attention to everyone and everything around me. More precisely, I don't care about anything around me but myself. I believe anyone can see that... Hmmm

3. I am not curious and interested in other people. In fact, I even consider it as nosey, something bad, something we should not do. Everyone has his/her own life and privacy, I am not going to stir up or to ask anything of them...

Of course now I know that this is not good. I learned that everyone is willing to have some conversation (or, at least it's what happens in America. But I believe that, as human, we all strive for communication. Isn't it what set us apart from the other species in the Earth?)

And if I don't want to interfere their personal life, I can still try to talk about what they like, what they want to share. Yes, yes, I know. This is a lot easier said then done. Me, I have not been able to do that yet. So what I steps should I take to achieve this goal:

1. Each day, try to talk to at least 5 persons, about anything. This tip is from another of Lisa's podcast, Attitude of Gratitude. Have 5 beans in my right pocket. Each time I have a conversation with anyone, move one bean to my left pocket. My goal is, at the end of the day, all beans must be on my left pockets. And, "Don't dismiss anyone" as Lisa said.

2 and 3. Pay attention. Ok for this part, Lisa has already say it all in her talk. Maybe some observation would help? For example, I can look at them, and if they have, say, a nice pair of shoes, I can talk about it. And who knows, I might have a gift a pair of shoes as the gentlemen in Lisa's story. If that actually happens I would definitely scream for happiness ;) You should definitely read her podcast for these two very important steps.

Ok, I know what I am not good at and what I need to work on. I truly hope that, one day, all these 3 basics rules will become my own self.

Hello world

So after a lot of trials, I finally came up with a name to the blog that has not been taken. I tried "It's life", "It's my life", "This is life" (without the space of course) and all of them are taken. Now I think you may do the same thing I did, try to go to these blog to see what the content would be.

Anyhow, this is my new blog. If you know that I am in fact a NOT a social kind of person, I am shy, easily get embarrassed, and many time I suck at communication, just because I don't know what to say. Even though I really truly want to say something, I just can't picture out what to say and how to say it nicely. There has been some personal reasons to it but I don't think you might be interested in it ;)

Now at my late 20th, I know it is late to come back to social life. But, better late than never. I am trying, and I am getting good feet back from people around me. I feel better about myself, and people like me more. I am getting better. My husband is of course a big encouragement for me. He loves me and gives me the strength to see and accept my weaknesses about social life, and to change it.

Now, why is this blog?

Recently I am reading books, articles and listening to podcasts, news, that help me improve and be better at social life. Of course the best practice is go out, meet people and communicate. So why the blog?

I am trying to keep up with my inner life. That is something I can't tell to any stranger. I don't want to emotionally evolve with them or reveal so much about myself. Blogging about it for even more far away stranger seems to be less intimidating to me, at least you guys can't see me... don't ya? ;)

Yes, so I will be blogging about what I learn after reading an article or listening to a podcasts. Just a diary to keep my mind working, and to practice my English writing skill.